


caught in a sea of clouds

by absolutelywrite



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/M, Gen, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutelywrite/pseuds/absolutelywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She still feels like the ocean. There’s sand in her throat and salt on her cheeks. She needs to shower and find a change of clothes before the bus lands with the rest of the team and she has to tell them.</p><p>About Fitz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	caught in a sea of clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the Season 1 finale.

She still feels like the ocean. There’s sand in her throat and salt on her cheeks. She needs to shower and find a change of clothes before the bus lands with the rest of the team and she has to tell them.

About Fitz.

He hasn’t woken up but Jemma has been at his bedside since they arrived at the new base, cataloguing every rise and fall of his chest, every flicker under his eyelids and minute twitch of his fingers. Her own fingers clench around the sheets, like they clutched his shirt collar when she dragged him up into the light, a lifeline that she can’t release. She still feels like she’s treading water, breath coming short and fast, struggling to keep her head above the surface.

She inhales slowly; lets her hands relax deliberately on the exhale. In and out. Her throat is painfully tight but there are words clawing their way out, rasping and sharp as they slip past her lips.

“I’m not sure where to begin. It’s impossible to know just how much of this conversation you might be aware of, let alone how much of it you’ll recall upon regaining consciousness. Numerous studies indicate a strong likelihood that auditory stimulation- oh hell, what am I doing? We’ve read essentially the same studies, you and I, it’s nothing you aren’t already aware of. But I don’t know what... to _do_.”

Jemma reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hand trembles in her peripheral vision.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The two of us working together, side by side... We’re a team; we share everything. Frankly, I’m quite impressed you managed to keep something like this from me. It must have been difficult for you.”

Taking his hand in hers, she lets her fingers seek out the proof of his pulse in her grasp, and sighs when she feels irrational relief flood through her. It takes a moment to gather her thoughts but when she does, her voice doesn’t waver.

“Fitz, please understand... I do love you. Not romantically, perhaps not in the way you want me to. But I do. Believe me when I say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and losing you... I would be lost without you. So you have to wake up, alright? Maybe I’m just being selfish. But I need you. And I refuse to let you die on me, not after everything we’ve faced, all that we've achieved. We’ll get through this just like we get through anything: together.”

She presses his hand one last time, lets his heartbeat ground her and give her strength. Then Jemma stands and walks back to her temporary quarters, spine straight and shoulders squared. And in the solitude of the shower cubicle, if she presses her forehead to the cool tile and allows a couple of tears to slip out, no one will ever know.

It just means two more drops falling into the pool of salty, sea water swirling around her feet.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic in a loose series featuring various headcanons for MCU characters on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum. They won't necessarily be compatible with each other and thus can be read in any order. My writing blog is [absolutelywrite](http://absolutelywrite.tumblr.com) but mostly I'm at [romanadvoratrelundamngirl](http://romanadvoratrelundamngirl.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you have any questions or comments, or if you want to geek out over Simmons with me!


End file.
